Lost in Love

I love, love so much
I love to love
It’s funny how I love it so much
How I dream it
Desire it
Want it
How I can't stop thinking about it
Yet I can't trust it
And I don’t believe in…it
So many wrong visions in my head
I feel like I’m hurt already even though I’m not
But I am
Somewhere deep inside all I can think about is loves rejection to me
It doesn’t love me the way I love it so much
If it did… it wouldn’t break my heart like this
It wouldn’t make me feel this ugly
But then maybe it is not loves fault
Maybe it’s just mine
I don’t know
But I do know I’m crying right now
And my tears are clouding my vision

Maybe of the future
Maybe of the past
Maybe of the present
Maybe to tell me something

Love is not for me, a sentence that leaves me shattered in pieces…

Black market of love
Hidden complex treasures behind walls of arguments
I’m sold the fake soft touch of your bruises that dent – my soul
Given blows of fury as profits of my tears never dry
And my pains increase and rise
To the waking contracts of our poisoned sunrise
Breaking together - where is the contract that signed my tragedy
In this relationship of calamity bringing up a storm to clatter
Any piece of peace left for me -

To figure it out
How to get out
I want to get out

_______________

LOST

You could say it is the start of love and the end is fast

Lost is nearly cost but the L's of living and life, kick the C of confusion

Living on slender terms... with you

Letting our spaces travel... apart

We are lost beyond our way, over galaxies that are next door

I can make slots from lost

the slot of my memories - where you used to be

cramming me

my mysteries fooling me

my blackness winning me

Lost is ... lots

I can feel lots of wasting of time

and shedding of unecessary tears

I see lots of lost -

days in my soul.