Monday, May 31, 2010

God's rap_ changing the world around




THis is an amazing true new story of a man like all men in this business for everyone to see he was famous, rich, sexy & led the american dream -

You could give up hope on him - you could say there is no way this guy would ever even think about Islam - not just cuz he's american but because he is young, happy and well... a bad boy as he states he was -


and then as I think about it -

God gives faith to who he desires and not to who we love - that means anyone, anytime, anywhere as long as God wishes it will be blessed with the understanding of this spectacular religion

Islam is not old and misunderstood anymore - the more modern this world becomes the more God challenges people- opens secrets and brings about life changing opportunities for people to remember that this faith is not something to take lightly -

IF anything makes me wonder it's how people who are 'muslims' dont see the precious gift of love they have - they abuse and misuse and live a life with the 'name' of them being muslims on their shoulders as if a burden or when they need it as something of course theyre meant to have -

I wish people could see rappers like loon ( now nothing like his old name, more like a shining moon) like the opening doors of a new era - and new times

its only makes me love my religion more - makes me want to fall in love with faith more - I feel so angry with myself when I forget how important this message is - I feel so angrywith myself when I dont pray on time or forget god's blessings on me or do mistakes that I could have prevented

I hope god forgives me and not think of me as just a stamped muslim girl trodding on this earth - but more like a muslim girl with a soul meant for heaven - working and breathing and living to die for heaven -

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Trip Road part 1



tripping on my feelings
my heart blinded by the hills
my soul eating from the spills
of the broken memories
and the lost stories
Im trying to forget
what do I want?
every time i pass this road and I fall from the track
until those days are over its hard to go back
or I should say
when I come here
everything goes wrong
because I am not strong
I open thoughts
battles not fought
moments caught
on gods tape





Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Prophet yousef introduction




The following series has been on of the best shows I have watched. I invite anyone to begin watching the delicate and incredible portrayal of Prophet yousefs life


It is an iranian production translated in arabic & english, conveying Prophet yousef's story in history - The production magnificently casts people's good and bad intentions, fate , destiny, the power of god and his will, the twists of lies and deception, the strength of love unity and separation and above all - the passion for loving god, his passion of helping and rewarding those on his path


Prophet yousef is one of an amazing prophet where you watch from his very birth, the days ofh is childhood the mysteries of fate, the details of his youth and above all the development of his message to allow people to believe and love one god only his story is built on emotion, happinness, tears and pain but above all - love and trust in God -



the actors are extremely talented, the scenery is nothing except in its perfect place of old pyramid egyptians lifespan and the themes and plots and special affects are tremendoulsy believable and so well carried out


Some episodes are of true magic and spaces of time stop for you to think about gods power, beauty, kindness and loyalty -


I have grown more in love with Islam , more in love with our other prophets , and above all, more in love with loving God then ever before -

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 1 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 2 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 3 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 4 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 5 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 6 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 7 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 8 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 9 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 10 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 11 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 12 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 13 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 14 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 15 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 16 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 17 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 18 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 19 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 20 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 21 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 22 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 23 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 24 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 25 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 26 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 27 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 28 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 29 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 30 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 31 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 32 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 33- مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 34 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 35 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 36 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 37 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 38 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 39 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 40 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 41 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 42 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 43 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

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Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 44 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

Prophet Yusuf Al-Siddiq Series - 45 - مسلسل نبي الله يوسف الصديق

Monday, May 17, 2010

what is it - that U cannot forgive... ever


I thought about it
the first thing on my mind was betrayal
if ur lover or best relative or someone close betrays you
lies to you
but then after thinking i realised
betrayal is in our lives all the time - sometimes we dont think and it happens
we forgive and we dont think
things small we let go off
and when we think about it
they always say -
if u cannot forgive somebody for doing some thing bad to you
then you have not forgiven yourself
people hold on to tears and fears from other people when truly the pain is from themselves
I know its hard to forgive
but its a teaching method
its a form of happiness
forgiving someone - letting go of the anger
trying to forget the pain
and before you know it
you have forgiven
so really the one thing I cannot forgive is not being able to forgive!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

prayer of love


I feel like a million love stories intertwined into a single moment of despair

anxiously my mind lingers on trust and deception of sweet imitations of a lovers hope

I want to dive in the swimming coolness of his love

someone somwhere breathing the interception of my affair

I read my mind - wishing upon wanting a dream of destiny and purity

I wonder how u draw someones eyes - spotting all the brown and dark combined



it's the streets of Khartoum downtown as the sunset fallss on the deepness of the still kisses of the nile

I wonder will I meet him hanging in the bitter cracks of fate - climbing the future of his home


or in the raining parks of 1st class city - amongst the flowers dripping with beauty and power - yet silent with foreign affairs and merging the undergroung of harmony - as I need to go to find him - waiting in of the many stations of ... prayer - a prayer taken and I gratitude his power forever


too many love stories

one still powerful enough for me to find

when I am powerful to stand

when I am understood and understand

the battle of my family

and my faith

conceptions i concieve every moment to grow in side me

until it is time

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Only regret, regret


Never regret things you do anymore
Only regret something that u are supposed to do and are not doing
i.e only regret the future if you do not conquer


Never regret the way you look
that is gods gift and time
Only regret the way your soul looks if you do not look back at it
and test it
control it
and love it at the same time


Never regret calls you make or weaknesses of kindness
only regret the type of weakness that is from a devil
the type that makes you sleep and feel all wrong


only regret that you can be stronger
so be stronger
only regret that you can be faster
so be faster
only regret that you can be hope
and so hope for the better, for the best
for the everlasting

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Faithful mending_ Help me & Don't break me

I ask you god to help me and not break me

For without you secrets would secretise inside me and flow
flow irreversible within my veins
until my system is damaged and savaged with broken thoughts
and imaginative disasters if irreparable despair

I try to cry but no more
no more will i succumb to the illiterate pain of a devils belonging, like a virus only being able to gather on the energy of others, cannot regenerate without the life of someone else

So I have asked and am determined that you rid me of the devils contamination,
Dear God, I beg you look after me and listen to me for I will not beg and pray and plead
for anyone but you, I will not cry for anyone but you
I will not tear for anything but your words
I Will only pearl for the fantasies of heaven and paradise driveways, shrubs, trees and gardens of my dreams -

I will get strong
I will not let someone close or far, dear or near - take my faithful faith, my drawing patterns of beauty
my new lines of power
my new offerings of peace
within my soul, heart and mind

So I ask you to help me and not break me

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -